How does optimism affect happiness?

Happiness is linked to optimism. People who are optimistic — who are good at seeing what they have and who have learned to appreciate what they have — tend to be happier. Being engaged in an enjoyable activity can help, too. If you are riding a bike, working on a painting, or doing some creative writing, you become completely absorbed in what you are doing. When you are living in the present moment and all of your senses are engaged in what you are doing, it’s likely that you will be happy.1 If a person looks at different life events with a negative outlook, then they may be miserable. But changing one’s attitude from non-positive to positive can go a long way toward sparking happiness. People who see the brighter side of things tend to be happier.

How do you measure happiness?

It is hard to measure happiness because it is subjective, Dr. Jodi De Luca says: “Like most emotions, the experience and definition of happiness is specific to the individual.” While it can be hard to measure happiness, it is important to try to figure out what gives your life meaning, she says: “Identifying what makes us happy is important. Being hopeful is a powerful tool for coping with the many challenges that life presents.”

To have a porn addiction, you need to meet three criteria: compulsion, an inability to control your compulsion, and the knowledge that it can hurt you or your relationships with others, says Michael McGee, MD, staff psychiatrist at Atascadero State Hospital in San Luis Obispo, California. “With a porn addiction, you simply can’t stop yourself even though you want to,” he says.

An individual with a porn addiction will continue engaging with porn even though they know there will be adverse consequences such as a damaged relationship with their significant other. “And even though there are consequences because of excessive engagement with porn addiction, the person is unable to stop,” Dr. McGee says.

How common is porn addiction?

Exact numbers for pornography addiction aren’t available, but it's well known that the use of pornography is extremely common. “There is almost no man who has never used porn,” says Michael McGee, MD, staff psychiatrist at Atascadero State Hospital in San Luis Obispo, California. Overall, it is estimated that 50 to 99 percent of men and 30 to 86 percent of women consume porn. And the Internet makes adult content easier than ever to access—and become addicted to—since the Web offers affordability, anonymity, and accessibility.

Who hasn’t occasionally tossed and turned worrying about the what-ifs in life—job security, health concerns, money woes, or relationship issues? Angst is a natural response to life’s ups, downs, twists, and turns.

“A certain amount of worry and hyper-vigilance can be considered normal and healthy reactions to life circumstances or immediate threats,” explains Marni Goldberg, LMFT, LPCC, whose San Diego, California-based practice, Mindful Matters Counseling, specializes in anxiety, sensitivity, and life transitions.

In fact, anxiety, that uneasy, unsettling feeling that something unwelcome or uncertain is about to happen, can even have some benefits. “Anxiety can help motivate you to work hard on important tasks, for example, or protect yourself against an immediate threat of violence when your fight-or-flight instinct kicks in,” she adds.

But anxiety can quickly take a turn from motivator to underminer when it brings along physical symptoms—your heart starts racing, you sweat or get chills, your chest tightens, or you have trouble focusing—and there are no immediate or dangerous threats present. Other symptoms can include shaking, stomachaches, excessive worrying, ruminating, or avoidance of certain places, activities, or even people.

Here’s the thing: anxiety by itself is not a disorder, says James Seymour, MD, director of the Chrysalis Program at Sierra Tucson, a residential treatment center for people struggling with a variety of depressive and mood disorders located in Tucson, Arizona.

“It’s a physical and emotional symptom that we all experience, and it can have value. It is a sign that something is wrong, physically or emotionally, or that we’re not safe in the environment or within ourselves,” he says. “Anxiety becomes problematic, however, when it affects functioning. When it’s not transient or fleeting, but static,” he adds. “That’s when it’s considered an anxiety disorder.”

There is no standardized test, outside of laboratory research settings, to formally diagnose stress because stress is subjective—what feels very stressful for one person may not cause high levels of stress for another. Only the person experiencing stress can determine how severe it feels. A counsellor may use questionnaires to understand your stress and how it affects your life.

Causes of Stress:
Anything that puts high demands or pressure on you can result in high stress levels, especially if you struggle to manage feelings of stress. Some common stressors that can lead to high levels of stress include high-pressure jobs, financial difficulties, taking on too much at once, conflicts at work or home, and failure to take time to relax.